I've almost come to the end of my holidays and what's struck me the most this time was how wonderful it is to be around little children. I've spent quite a bit of time with my own three-year old as well as his two cousins, one the same age as Gabriel and the little girl is about to turn two.
It's an age of discovery - and discoveries come fast and furiously at this age. Things have to be experienced to be understood and believed - it's very little use saying to the almost-two-year old: "Be careful, you'll fall and hurt yourself" - this is not understood with the full intensity it conveys. They are words which in fact carry very little meaning until they are associated with an action. And as for the three-year olds - words now carry far more meaning, but their limits are still being tested out. So when you say: "If you show the toy to her (the younger sister) she'll want it and you'll upset her." And lo and behold, the toy is shown and the reaction is carefully observed - almost sadistically (if you can say that of a child). But I genuinely believe it is done with an intent to test out the power of language and words and ideas and reactions. It's a little laboratory - in which everyday experiences take on significant importance in terms of character building, understanding the dynamics of social interaction, but most of all, understanding that words have meaning.
Words are played with just for the pleasure of the sound. The almost-two-year old repeats the words we say - she plays around with the sound: different tones, different intonation, said inside a cup to hear the muffled sound, screamed into your ear, sung in long streams of repeated words. There is a clear pleasure in playing with words. The three year old has already been molded by school and uses words in carefully phrased songs, uses chunks of language with the chosen words in almost the correct contexts. The power of language, when used effectively, is being understood - as is the power of slience and not using words - just using eyes, a wry smile or going into a sulk. The change from being two and being three and understanding the power of words is spectacularly wonderful and beautiful to watch.
And in the case of my own son, who is still struggling with his language acquisition, the lack of language is frustrating for him. Sounds and actions substitute the words which don't come out yet. How do you give meaning when you lack the power of words? How do you show you understand without having the words? You resort to action. You even resort to physical aggression against yourself and others.
But sometimes you also resort to laughter....there is a way in which some words are said which make them sound funny - words can tickle your senses and make you laugh. Gabriel now finds a couple of words really funny and bursts out laughing. I always remember my brother who used to roll around whenever I said "Who's a pretty little crocodile!" Weird! I think my brother still doesn't know till today why that was funny!
But as I said before, the power of words lies in the ability of someone to listen and give it it's full meaning. So "mama" can be said with different intonations and you begin understanding the differences and decoding the meaning.
It also means this: in a world in which we have so little time to listen to each other, how much time do we dedicate to these little ones who do need so much quality listening time? I for one am sure I need to say less and listen more.
